Twilight Theatre
by Melody Jade
Summary: "Meet me at our old playground at 6pm tonight," Lily's doe Patronus said before bouncing back out the window, leaving a stunned Severus in its wake. (AU where both Lily and Severus survive the end of the first Wizarding War.)


"Meet me at our old playground at 6pm tonight," Lily's doe Patronus said before bouncing back out the window, leaving a stunned Severus in its wake.

It was just days after Severus was acquitted by the Wizengamot, the weight of Dumbledore's testimony enough to spare him the Dementor's kiss and a lifetime in Azkaban. It wasn't enough to redeem Severus in the Wizarding public's eyes, but that was fine for Severus. He cared nothing about their opinions, and was perfectly content to stay in Spinner's End, shut from the rest of the world.

Lily had come for the last day of his trial, when Dumbledore had spoken of his defection from the Death Eaters and his willingness to become a spy for the Order of the Phoenix. She had sat there listening as Dumbledore spoke about how Severus's information was crucial in allowing them to set a trap for Voldemort, finally neutralising him and ending the long war.

Severus had sat ramrod straight, staring straight ahead so he wouldn't see the expression and judgement on Lily's face. He had only caught glimpses of her red hair from the corner of his eye, and she had slipped out before the verdict was announced.

He thought he would never see her again.

Until Lily's message came this morning.

He puttered around his house for the entire day, too nervous to even eat anything for lunch, before finally giving out and walking to their playground at half past four. He reached there a full hour early, and sat on the swing, shivering in the cold as he only had on a thin threadbare jacket. He waited an entire hour as the sun set, bathing the playground in beautiful hues of color that he couldn't appreciate at all in his nervousness, wondering if she would show up at all.

Finally, he saw a familiar figure walking toward him in the dimming light of the twilight. He stood up from the swing as she approached and stopped right in front of him.

She was still as beautiful as ever, and his heart skipped with joy at seeing at her, and he drank in her features. Her face was blank, devoid of any expression, but that was better than anger, wasn't it?

"Hi," he ventured, when she didn't say anything, instead just continuing to stand in front of him studying him. He didn't know if Lily had ever learned Legilimency, but he kept his mind open anyway, with no trace of Occlumency. Lily deserved nothing but the truth from him.

If only he knew what to say to her!

Finally, Lily broke the silence. "Dumbledore vouched for you," she said. "He told us you came to him during the height of the war and offered to spy for us."

"Yes I did," he said, and could think of nothing more to say. There were so many things he wanted to tell her, to confess and apologise for. But he didn't know where to start, and so he could only remain silent.

"The Order didn't trust you at first," she said, and he wondered what her opinion of him was then, and if he wanted to know. "Sirius was certain you were a double spy. But Dumbledore remained adamant that you would never betray the Order. None of us could ever figure out why he was so sure."

Severus knew why Dumbledore trusted him so implicitly. That terrible night, he had revealed everything to Dumbledore, all his hopes and regrets, and Dumbledore knew what was in Severus's heart and who was in his every thought.

Could he tell Lily that, though, and face an even bigger rejection? He settled for a half-truth. "I told him what my real reasons for defection was, and they were good enough for him."

She tilted her head at him, an inquiring look on her face, and it was so reminiscent of the way Lily used to look at him during their childhood that he felt choked up for a moment.

"What did you tell him?" she asked.

"I…." he opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

"Was it because of me?" she interrupted his stuttering, before colouring slightly and looking away from him.

Tell her that it was because of her, he urged himself. Tell her you joined the Order, despite hating the whole lot of them, because that's where she was, that's the side she was fighting her and Severus would follow her anywhere. Tell her.

But the words stuck in his throat, and as the silence lengthened and deepened, as the last of the twilight faded away from them leaving only darkness, she sighed in disappointment, and turned away from him.

This was his last chance, he knew. Lily would never seek him out again.

"Lily, wait!" he called out, frantic, and grabbed hold of her hand. It was cold, like his, and while she didn't turn back around, she didn't jerk away from him too.

"Lily, please don't walk away without hearing me out," he begged. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything. For never standing up to Mulciber or Avery, for calling you that… that word, for joining the Death Eaters. I'm so sorry. I know I can't ever make it up to you, but you have to know this. You were the reason why I defected from the Death Eaters, why I agreed to spy for the Order. I will never hurt you, and I want no part in any group that will hunt you down and kill you."

He finally subsided, mortified at his uncharacteristic outburst and torrent of words. Lily had turned back to face him now, but Severus couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes. Instead, he stared down at their feet, unable to bear the judgement and rejection in her eyes.

He had faced the Wizengamot and won, he had faced the wizarding public and lost. But Severus cared nothing about those. This was his real trial, the only one that mattered to him, and he dared not face it.

"Severus, look at me," Lily said, and Severus drew a deep breath and dragged his eyes up to meet hers. Her expression wasn't blank anymore, nor was it angry or disappointed. Instead, there was something almost like hope in her expression.

"When you said you want no part in a group that will hunt me down and kill me, do you mean out of concern for a friend, or as…. something more?" she asked, her face scrunching up in a tell-tale sign of nervousness, and it was such a shock, that Lily might be as nervous as him about this meeting, that he almost missed what she was saying at first.

"Lily, what do you mean?" he asked, not daring to believe his ears. "I… something more?" He wasn't sure if he meant it as a request for clarification or an answer to her question. Maybe it was both.

Lily sighed, an exasperated sound. "I meant this, you utter dunderhead." She snatched her hand away from his grip, but before he could mourn the loss of the contact, her hands were framing his face, and she dragged his head down as she rose on her toes to plant a perfect kiss on his lips.

The streetlights came on as night fell around them, bathing them in light as they kissed, wrapped in each other's arms.

* * *

 **Note:** This was originally posted on AO3 as part of Fandom Stocking 2016/2017.

Title of this fic was taken from the lyrics of _Given and Denied_ by Poets of the Fall.


End file.
